Lords Prayer

Lord,
I’d become a Christian if I thought I’d see a burning Bush
If I thought You would set young George alight
I’d go to church each Sunday, even weekdays at a push
And I’d pray to Jesus morning noon and night
If only You would push Bush into a fiery furnace
If only You’d engorge George in hot flame
Then I’d become a Christian and I’d make it my own mission
To see other politicians get the same….

I wouldn’t just burn them with Christian zeal
I’d burn them with flames that were red hot and real
Tho I’d like to ignite all the buggers on sight
Instead I would burn them all sleeping at night
If You burn Bush, Lord, there’ll be no deterrent
Each MP, AM and PM past and present
Will die, every hypocrite, thief, whore and liar
I’ll retire to their pyre and expire via fire.

Imagine: Portillo asleep on his pillow
I’d say a hail Mary then make those flames billow
Tony Blair lying there like a babe unaware
I’d pray for his sins then set fire to his hair
Jack Straw like a straw would easily cinder
And Thatcher like thatch would soon catch
Boris a forest of fine human tinder
Paddy Ashdown I’d burn down to ash
David Cameron I guess would prove highly flammable
And Major I wager would too
In Your Name to Pete Hain I’d whisper a parable
Then bid him a fiery adieu
Mo Mowlam has plenty mo’ fat I could burn
Ann Widdecombe some I’d ignite in its turn
And good Gordon Brown in Gordon’s I’d drown
I’d pour liberal spirits on him
His fat filthy body with fire I’d melt down
His illiberal spirit send off with a hymn
These pig politicians and empty MPs
I’m sure I could track down with relative ease
If the UK’s a body then they’re the disease
It’s foolish to fight ‘em, let’s just ignite ‘em
The country would thank me again and again
Dear God and Jesus, please won’t you please us
Forever and ever and ever
AMEN

Bonfire Night Poem

Remember remember the 5th of November
Gunpowder treason and plot
Remember remember each parliament member
And all of the money he's got
Remember the commons so plush that they sit in
More comfy than our common homes
Remember the shiny white toilets they shit in
Remember who cleans out the bowls
Remember their parties, remember their do’s
Remember who waits at their table
See their posh clothing and expensive shoes
Who pays for that designer label?
Remember the exotic trips that they take
And how you stay home cos youre poor
Remember remember the laws that they make
And who those twats make the laws for
Remember the taxes you pay like a fool
Remember the wages they get
Who put their children in posh public school?
And who made ours illiterate
Remember remember their butlers and maids
Remember their nannys and cooks
Remember remember how much you are paid
And how much we give to these crooks
Remember their limo remember their yacht
Remember how you take the bus
Remember that nice country home that they’ve got
Where are the villas for us?
Remember the homeless folk out on the streets
Remember their Westminster flats
See them in the commons sat fat in their seats
And us lot all out here like rats
Remember your bills, remember your debt
Youll be paying it off til you die
You slave away but they never sweat
Except when theyre telling a lie
Remember those fuckers who pay to get sucked
By working class women and men
Remember us suckers who keep getting fucked
Over and over by them
I swear on the bonfire we shouldn’t be burning
Guy Fawkes but these parliament pricks
It’s the government these days that needs overturning
Who’s tired of their sly little tricks?
In that case Im starting a brand new tradition
It’s Gordon on Wednesday we’ll burn!
“Penny for the Brown”’ll be our new rendition
And every penny I earn
Will go into planning the next revolution
Gunpowder treason and plot
These parliaiment fuckers are human pollution
I hope to blow up the whole lot