(italics in a strong Cardiff accent)
I say tomato, you say
tum-AH-toeI say potato, you say
spudI shop at Sainsburys, you
shops at TescoI can’t stand their value brand
But you can’t get enough
Between us there’s a difference
I’m middle class – you’re not
My family think that you’re a dunce
Yours think that I’m high maintenance
But viva la Cardifference!
We’re going to tie the knot
I play the clarinet, you
plays NintendoI like the theatre, you
prefers the boxI admire Fred Astaire, you
acts like RamboParticularly in the bedroom with me
Though I wish you would take off your socks
Our love inspires incongruence
They say we shouldn’t wed
Your family hates intelligence
Mine hate your constant flatulence
But viva la Cardifference!
We get on well in bed
I read the Telegraph, you
reads the MetroI’d like a country house, you
gorruh council flatI’ve got a PhD, you’ve
gorrun ASBOWhen we go out if people shout
You swing your baseball bat
At times I feel ambivalence
You’ve got a nasty streak
I’ve seen your taste for violence
You’re put blokes in the ambulance
And even punched my face in once
For giving too much cheek
But love, is love, is love, is love…
So viva la Cardifference!
The wedding day’s next week