Friday, 18 December 2009

Xmas Time

Fucking house is like a grotto
Fucking dad is fucking blotto
Fucking lost the fucking lotto
It's fucking xmas time

Fucking sister's fucking here
Her fucking brats a-fucking-ppear
Her fucking fella stinks uh beer
It's fucking xmas time

Fucking brother fucking rings
He's fucking doing other things
I fuckin wish I'd fucking wings
It's fucking xmas time

Got my mum some fucking chocs
Fucking dad gives me a box
Fucking 'ell, it's fucking socks
It's fucking xmas time

Fucking cabbage, fucking sprouts
Fucking nephew fucking pouts
Fucking sister fucking shouts
It's fucking xmas time

Fucking mum is fucking chuffed
To see her fucking family stuffed
Wha's tha' stink? Dad's fucking guffed
It's fucking xmas time

Fucking mum says raise yuh glass
Thinks she's fucking middle class
Fucking dad falls on his arse
It's fucking xmas time

Fucking house a fucking sty
Fucking children fucking cry
Fucking time tuh say goodbye
It's fucking xmas time

Fucking xmas, fucking tree
Fucking food, tee-fucking-vee
Fucking shit if you ask me
It's fucking xmas time

(with thanks to John Cooper Clarke)


holly said...

my fucking gran says 'fucking nice.*'

*(actually my gran is dead, but i'm sure she'd say that, although she never in her life uttered that word.)
(i'm sure she *wanted* to.)

Rhys said...

my gran used to call this 'effing and blinding' - I never out why when I was kid and now she's dead so I'll have to enlist a medium to find out

James Lee Jobe said...

I'll be hitting an open mike Monday just to fucking read this.

DAVE BONES said...

love it

The Ultimate Reviewer said...

This NEEDS to be put to festive music, I love it! P.S the Capcha I need to enter to verify i'm human and submit my comment is


No kidding. Even the webpage loves it!