CAP'N COLEMAN, TO HIS LOVE

A poem written in 1569 by the famous pirate, CAPTAIN COLEMAN, only just discovered in an attic in Pentwyn

CAP’N COLEMAN IS MOY NAME
BEIN’ A POY-RUT IS MOY GAME
OY’D LIKE T’MAKE YOU WALK MOY PLANK
CEPT THAT ALL THAT RUM OY DRANK
HAS MADE MOY PLANK A LI-UL SHOY
GIMME AN HOUR AN’ THEN OY’LL TROY
TO PLUMB YOUR DEEP, OY’LL MAKE YOU WEEP
WI’ PLEASURE, TREASURE, THEN OY’LL SLEEP
COS FIVE MINS IS ENOUGH FUR ME
DON’ PULL THAT FACE, MOY LOVE, YOU’LL SEE
THAT IN FIVE MINS OY’LL MAKE YOU QUIVER
MY TIMBER, LASS, WILL MAKE YOU SHIVER
FUR OY’M A POY-RUT WHO HAS GOT
A MAP, LOOK ERE, “X” MARKS THE SPOT
THIS ERE MAP’S SHAPED LIKE YOUR BOOTY
AND IT IS MY POY-RUT DOOTY
TO FOLLOW THE MAP, OY WILL NOT REST
UNTIL MY ‘ANDS ARE ON YOUR CHEST
I WANT YOUR JEWEL, OY WILL FIND IT
YOUR SECRET CAVE, OY’LL GET INSIDE IT
AND THEN OY’LL TAKE THE WHOLE DAMN LOT
COS, MY DARLIN’, YOU HAVE GOT
JUST WHAT OY WANT, MY SEXY SLUT
LET’S PUT THE “RUT” INTO “POY-RUT”
SO WAIT A WHILE AND LET US SUP
AND THEN THIS POY-RUT WILL “POP-UP”