Book! Me! Book - Who?

So. I am having a book out. I think I can say that? It will be out later this year. I'll let you know the publisher if they say I can! I'm only just putting a draft together now. I was sort of waiting to get a 'first thing' out there because I've been doing this for 6 years now, and knew almost from the beginning that I wasn't the poet I wanted to be yet. I wanted to wait until my poetry voice matched my internal voice a bit more - or, one of them - the one that I feel is more from my heart than any other place. I started out Doing Funny, but nearly everything I wrote back then to amuse, now I am re-reading, is also very Dark and Angry. I do sometimes make a joke onstage about 'poetry as therapy' - for plenty of us, it is! - but this is reeeeally apparent in these pieces. I mean, I *was* having actual therapy and doing a lot of work on myself at the time... The poems also seem a lot darker/angrier because they are on a page, all black and white and stark as anything, rather than me performing them with my soft voice and jokes inbetween. What to do? 

I don't think I can wait for my first book to be ready in any other voice/style I use, 'Mab' is too well-known now, she has written hundreds of poems, and performed nearly 700 times, and could have sold hundreds of books too, instead of flimsy self-made chapbooks or anthologies where people often didn't buy because they didn't know the other writers... I need a product. I need somewhere for these poems to 'go'. I think - I also need to make a distinction between what Mab writes and what my other (real?) self writes. I feel like 'Mab Jones' came about at a very particular point in my life, and as a character really helped me overcome lots of personal challenges. I still want to continue with her. I won't kill her off and become all serious! It's too much fun, and Mab just loves making people laugh toooo damn much.....!

However, after a fair bit of mucking about, persona-wise, in the past couple of years, it seems I have found the self I wish to use when it comes to writing these 'other poems'. I will continue to write comic verse through Mab, but I will use my real name, Michelle Anastasia Oliver, for these. What difference does this make in practical terms? Actually, none at all. Not at this point, anyway. It just seems like, some of my newer poems are so different to these older ones, that they need to be marketed under a different name. This will be it. I already have a secret blog which this persona writes in any case... *don't bother looking, you will not find it!!*

That's all for now, anyway. Thanks for reading. And, back to the book!!

M xxx

A Blog for World Poetry Writing Month

Here is a blog I wrote for WoPoWriMo, which I was invited to do by the lovely Sarah Snell-Pym. It's entitled 'Poetry and Me'... and it's about me and poetry! Click on the pic below to read it...

What Shakespeare Would Be Doing If He Was Born Now

I am a very lucky journo indeed. Cos I freelance, I get to choose the shows I go to, so only choose the ones I think I will enjoy. Do I seem to always give positive reviews? Well, this is the reason why that is :-)

Tomorrow, I will be going to see Jonzi D in Lyrikal Fearta, a triple bill that includes Jonzi's acclaimed solo work The Letter, which explores the responses to Jonzi being offered - and refusing - an MBE, as well as Broken Lineage, which looks at the differences between the old skool and new skool hip hop generations. Personally, I don't know very much about these two 'skools' - but, being a very lucky journo indeed, I got the chance to speak to Jonzi directly about all of this, and found him to be a very friendly and good-humoured sort, despite being super-busy, and always working and travelling, and probably always inundated with inane questions from don't-know-much-about-hip-hop journos such as myself...

In any case, we still managed to have a lovely chat, and I, of course, wanted to know more about him famously saying no to that prestigious MBE...

Jonzi: First and foremost, it wasn’t interesting for me to just tell the audience my reasons for not taking it. What was much more interesting were the voices in my head, forcing me left or right. Some of these voices were actual people; some of the voices were ideas in my head that I created characters from. ‘Jonzi’ doesn’t actually speak in the piece until the very end but, up until then, I present conversations with Jonzi, just with me playing the other people as well.

Me: Can you tell us a bit more about these other people?

Jonzi: I play 6 different characters. One of them is somebody I work with at Sadler’s Wells, and they’re giving me more of a corporate perspective on it. I speak to a local kid who lives in Bow, which is where I’m from, and the effect I have on him, regardless of whether I take it or not. I play that kid’s mum. I also play a very middle class African woman. And I play a very militant guy, called Darren. And yeah, it’s a variety of voices all sharing their opinion on me. 

Me: Is there a comedy element to proceedings? Do you – wear a dress?

Jonzi: (laughs) Who says I’ll be wearing a dress! That’s a huge assumption…

Me: Okay, so, maybe you’ll be naked. 

Jonzi: No, I’m not naked either! My goodness. You’re obviously a blogger! (laughs) I play two women in the piece, but I’m still wearing black t-shirt and black trousers. Although the poster, which you might have seen, shows an image of me holding a cigar, wearing make-up… That was added by Photoshop. i.e. by me!

Me: Okay, cool. So, can I ask you now about the MBE thing... Recently, a lot of poets got invited to Buckingham Palace, and it seemed to me that a lot of people's masks kind of slipped because, you know, some people were invited and some people weren't... So, this kind of seems like a timely reflection of that, as a poet myself...

Jonzi: It’s interesting, because I’ve been invited to the Houses of Parliament, and no 10 Downing Street, and there’s no way I’d refuse that. That’s a brilliant chance of getting into these places of power and to talk my piece, really. I think the MBE is a very different perspective. I think to accept an MBE is also an acceptance of the legacy and the history of the British Empire. More importantly, I think it really compromises our voices as poets who want to talk about justice, you know what I mean? So, for me, it was always difficult. I knew before I was offered an MBE that I would not take an MBE.

Me: I totally agree. I think I would be the same... I'm really interested in seeing you look at all this, but I have to admit, for the other piece in the show, 'The Legacy', I'm a bit, well, ignorant. It's about the differences between the old skool and new skool in hip hop. I don't know if you can tell by my voice, but I'm a chubby Welsh woman wearing a cardigan... I don't know a lot about hip hip. Please can you tell me a bit about this?

Jonzi: (laughs) Okay, let me give you an intro… There’s old skool hip hop which I see as relatively innocent at the time. A lot of old skoolers in the early 80s, in England, it was a great idea – ‘hip hop’ – 'though we didn’t necessarily see it lasting for 40 plus years… So… At the time there was an innocence about it, that was purely based on community, love, sharing, battling, and all those kinds of things. But now it’s a multi-million dollar industry, so there’s a lot of, shall we say, compromise that has been made of and by the culture, and there are lots of images of hip hop that original old skoolers would probably look at and say “that’s not hip hop”. So, it’s more the character of the old skool guy, versus the character of the new skool guy - what influences the new skool guy, what value they have. A lot of the piece is based on my own experience, seeing old skoolers who have just come out of the woodwork, and are claiming the culture again, mainly because these younger kids are the ones that have taken it a little bit further. So, for me, there’s bitterness that I have discovered with a lot of old skool attitudes, and I wanted to explore that within this particular work.

Me: The bitterness, the different generations... It sounds very Shakespearian to me. So, can I just ask you, who your own influences are? Which musicians you like, in both the old skool and the new skool?

Jonzi: Old skool influences – I’d say Rock Steady Crew, as a group, are just completely amazing. I’d definitely say Melle Mel from the FuriousFive. KRS-one from the original Boogie Down Productions, great influence politically. But also, in relation to hip hop, I don’t know, I’d put Malcolm X in there, I’d put Louis Farrakhan in there, mainly because I discovered a lot of the work of these guys through listening to rap. So there was a very strong political agenda in 87, 88, that kind of period of time. Nowadays, I’d say who influences me… Odd Future. I like Odd Future. Tyler, The Creator, Earl Sweatshirt, those guys are really cool. I also like Madlib. And MF Doom. Although, he’s old skool, I first heard him in 1988, as part of a group called KMD, he also did a track with 3rd Bass, one of the first legitimate white groups in hip hop. It’s interesting, I do struggle a bit when asked about the new skool, and I’m embarrassed to say that bitter old character that I play in Broken Lineage, there’s a part of me that relates to him.

Me: Do you know a musician called Akala? Me and the boyfriend went to see him recently... I think he's amazing.

Jonzi: Akala is amazing. He is brilliant, so clever. 

Me: We are going to see the Hip Hop Shakespeare Company in the South Bank in March. Do you like them?

Jonzi: I do. I think they’re excellent. I’m hoping to work with them one day. Me and Akala met up three or four years ago, and he asked me to direct one of his pieces. Since then, he’s been working with a much better theatre director than me…! But, he was a pleasure to hang out with. He’s great.

Me: And, I was just wondering - it sounds as if you travel a fair amount with your work. Have you been to Wales before?

Jonzi: Of all of the countries I’ve been to, I can’t get a visa to get into Wales (laughs)… But I smuggled myself in one day, and I went to Cardiff, to the Millennium Centre, and we did Breakin' Convention there.

Me: Do you have a favourite place that you've been to? I know you have many to choose from...

Jonzi: Fave country... I’d say South Africa. The first time I went to South Africa in 1987 was a revelation. I’d say that one… I mean… I’ve just got back from Brazil, and that was huge. It was a very serious danger to South Africa being the top place, but I think, in balance, it’s South Africa still.

Me: What made that your favourite visit?

Jonzi: The spirit of the people, the understanding of hip hop culture, the rappers... My wife.

Me: Ah! Romance...

Jonzi: Yes. I found my wife there.

Me: And, finally, can you just tell me what you've got lined up after this particular tour, which I think end in the first week of February?

Jonzi: After that, I’ve got lots of development work with Breakin' Convention. We’re going to do something called Back to the Lab where we work with choreographers and bring them back to the laboratory to start exploring some stuff with a very experienced theatre maker, Jonathan Burrows, then after that I’ll be going out to do the Open Arts Surgery in Toronto. Then I’ll be performing as part of the Washington DC Hip Hop Theatre Festival. Then, after that, I’m going to be going straight to the Harlem Apollo to start working with Soweto Kinch and some artists from New York to develop a piece that’s going to be performed in London in 2015. Then when I get back we do Breakin' Convention the National Tour.

Me: And will this be coming to Wales?

Jonzi: No.

Me: Oh....

Jonzi: (laughs) You’re just going to have to travel a bit, love, that’s it!

Me: Ha ha! Well that's about it from me.... Last thing, I guess, is - is there anything, like, any final words, you would like to say, about hip hop theatre?

Jonzi: (pause) What I will say is that I think that hip hop theatre is what Shakespeare would be doing if he was born now.

Wow! Great final words, and great interview, I think you'll agree, and a very interesting, erudite man we have in Mr Jonzi D. You can catch his highly acclaimed Lyrikal Fearta production at Sherman Cymru tomorrow from 8pm. And I, my dearest blog buddies, will see you there x

http://www.shermancymru.co.uk/performance/dance/jonzi-d-lyrikal/

My End of Year (food) Blog

After last year's much complained-about final blog post, my Year in Shitty Pictures (well, okay, one person complained - they wondered if I really did wish death upon Justin Bieber. Answer was: yes! This blog isn't a joke, y'know!)... Anyway, after last year's complaint, I have decided to end 2013 with a 'best of' rather than a poor and, I admit it, mean-spirited, piss-take, thereby focussing on the positives of the past 12 months as opposed to the negatives. The focus in this post, friends, will be on achievement, inspirational events, academic accomplishment, and intelligent political outcome. 

AS IF!!!!!!! :-D

I have, however, decided to take onboard the fact that food blogs are extreeeemely popular (more popular than poetry blogs, really) and use that little law to hopefully 'up' the pathetic number of hits I normally get on here (see that page counter to the right of this? I did that myself, I did, by clicking my blog all year instead of masturbating - that non-wank-o-meter stands as a sad testimony to my current end-of-year sexual frustrations... Inbox me, perverts, *please*.......!!) :-/

So, anyway *weird Hayley Cropper wannabe-sex face* - here is my list of best things and people of 2013, a sorta Top Ten, with a slight emphasis on grubb, nosh, chow - enjoy!

Top Ten of 2013 #food

1. Best Food-Inspired Headpiece: Lady Gaga (design by Weetabix)

2. Best Drink: milk, consumed on the day of Thatcher's funeral

3. Most Talked-About Fruit: Angelina Jolie's melons

4. Most Likely to Put One Off One's Food: royal baby farce/face. Bleurgh!!

5. Dessert of the Year: 'just desserts' generously dished out by Saatchi to 

wife Nigella outside a Mayfair restaurant (!)

6. Best Bank: Food Bank 

7. Scariest Story: wine is running out! Stock up while you can! More on this story HERE :-(

8. Most Secret Ingredient: horses, of courses!

9. Best Food Additive: Potassium Bromate

10. Best YouTube clip: How Animals Eat Their Food

Anyway, hope you have a great bell-end of the year, folks. See you again in 2014!!! x

Lover

Here is another new poem, inspired by a recent visit to the psychiatric unit at Llandough Hospital, Cardiff.

Lover

Your mind, like blown glass,
Has cracked.

They have taped up
What they can. Only a few
Fragments are missing.

In the tea room,
An older woman in tight jeans brags about how
You give her bear hugs.

In the hallway, a girl

Is pulling herself toward the door,
On the floor. Ragdoll thin,
Her hair streams behind her
Like a wedding veil.

You are bearded. A young prince.
Dandruff confettis your shoulders
As you hold court.

You are popular here.
It is Sunday, and I am your fifth visitor.

You tell me you love me.
You want to show me your poems but
They are in the older woman’s room.

I see two people I know:
A sex offender I taught to write haiku.
A well-to-do woman
I need to invoice for work.

You put sugar in my coffee,
Forgetting that I do not
Take it.

You kiss me. I kiss back.
I am let out and walk past traffic,
Keep walking until
I don’t know where I am.

You drink tea. Set up pieces
On a board game
You do not know how to play.

Bedroom Tax protest/poem

Today I took part in a protest outside the office of LibDem's Jenny Willott, after the MP decided to continue supporting the bedroom tax in the face of opposition from the people she is supposed to represent. I had been asked to write a poem about the fact that Jenny had ignored requests from concerned citizens to talk about this, instead choosing to spend time on the much-more important issue of - rubbish. Yes, that's right - apparently the black bags outside our homes, and their collection, is far more important to Jenny than the people currently losing their homes, and being dumped outside like rubbish themselves!

In the end, Jenny did not turn up to her own office, and cancelled her usual Friday surgery. With families being forced to sell furniture to pay the tax, many falling into debt, and still others facing threats of eviction (if they haven't been evicted already), it seemed both cold and cowardly for the MP not to turn up to meet us today. The police were there, as usual, and were very polite and helpful indeed - they are constituents too, after all. This bedroom tax is hitting many of us, and it's hitting hard. And how is Jenny sleeping at night? Well, apparently, very well, as it is a well-known fact that the MP bought an extremely expensive four-poster bed on her expense account - almost £1,800 of taxpayers' money in total, on the bed, mattress, matching curtains, and home delivery.

So... Keep fighting the fight, good people! Picture and full poem below x

Bedroom tax, here’s the facts

People made homeless

Bedroom tax, just like trash

You can’t ignore us

Bedroom tax, don’t have stacks,

We can’t afford it

Our hearts and homes broken

But you just ignored it

Here is the full poem, it should be read in order of columns (1,2,3...). Making columns on Blogger is an absolute pain, so please forgive the fact the type isn't quite straight here... Enjoy!

Mab v Scrunchies

Look. I've got nothing against Scrunchies, okay. For those of you who have seen my Facebook posts... All I am saying is that a cheapo bit of string with some tatty material wrapped round it should NOT be more popular than me. I have performed over 650 times in the past 6 years! I bring smiles and delight (and slight drunken flirtiness) wherever I go! I do charity events, I do workshops in the local community, I've worked in various schools and prisons. My whole life is dedicated to sharing and inspiring a love of the spoken and written word. What the hell did Scrunchies ever do???

As far as I can see, all they do do is wrap their smug, crap-patterned selves around people's already-dead hair strands. BIG DEAL!!! I could do that, y'know. you don't need an MA (what like I've got) for that!! Scrunchies seem a bit smug about it all, to be honest. Are their hearts really in the right place? Do they care about their local communities? Or are they just about showing off, with all their tartan and furry bits and sequins and that? All their 'look what I can do' attichood, like fat little crowns on the top of young girls' (and sometimes old ladies') heads???

I mean, even if Scrunchies ARE 'the real deal', and feel they are doing some good in the world, why should they be more popular than my good self, and have more FB likes on their fan page than moi? Is it really anything to do with their usefulness? Or is it more to do with THIS:

Yeah, that's right. A young, half-naked girl showing off her 'bits and bobs' while wearing Scrunchies. Like a sexed-up version of the Victorian Little Match Girl, innit? What is she REALLY selling here? Eh? EH????

(Wish I had legs like that, mind.... *Sigh*!)

Anyway, I think this slightly disturbing, overly-young-girl imagery just proves what Scrunchies are really all about. So - liking their page MAKES YOU A DISGUSTING PERVERT!! Please unlike it now. Liking MY page - HERE - makes you a GOOD AND HONEST (and therefore sexually attractive) PERSON! Please like it now.

Down with Scrunchies! Up with moral integrity!!!

YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO !!!!!!!

https://www.facebook.com/mabjones
https://twitter.com/mabjones

Paper Man

At first, paper man,
I admired your cutting edge,

Your inability to be anything more than
See-through. I noticed you
Folding in certain situations.
I thought it was your nature.
I watched you crumple,
Poor screwed-up you,
And I cried and cried.
You had been punched, and
You had been burned, and
I could see so many holes.
The thought of flames hurting
You, hurt me even more.
But then I saw you taking the match
To yourself, and I did not
Understand it. Tried to stop it, in fact.
But you would find those matches
Wherever they were hidden.
I told you it was over, and you
Posted yourself to me in an envelope.
Love me, you’d written on the place
Where your heart should have been.
Hate me, was written over your pencilled cock.
I crumpled you into a ball
And threw you from the window, but still
You returned – masquerading as a
Bill, a letter, a Christmas card,
An origami swan. And every time
I let you in – the fire, the smoke,
Filled my flat and my lungs. Licked at
My heart. Paper man, I am tired of this.
The water I throw just turns you to mulch,
My pleas to stop are ignored.
I finally see that you don’t have ears.
You don’t have a heart, either.
You are so thin, now,
And you are just paper,
But still you left me in cuts all over
While I in turn have changed to other
Things. Water. Wood.
Finally, to stone.

Made in Roath - Resident Blogger

V excited to announce that I will be Resident Blogger for this year's Made in Roath Festival!

Please click on the image below to visit the new blog.

Imperial

This is a new poem, a draft, not a funny one, inspired a little by thinking about the royals, because of the recent birth, and also by Wales Wildflower Day, which happened recently at the National Botanic Garden of Wales, and which I was lucky enough to attend. Who ever thought the buttercup was such a blighter? Well, it is, so here you go:

I am trying to find the beauty in you, buttercup.
I am looking only at your golden heads.
I am attempting to forget what the expert said:
That your species is invasive.
That your style is ‘creeping’.
That your taste is acrid.
That your sap can cause blistering.
You carry your poison so prettily,
You are lovely to behold, intermingled
With the daisies, as if you were one of them.
As if you could ever be ‘common’.
You will live for a thousand years
And gradually those daisies will be crowded out.
You will block the light from them, put them in the shade,
Steal the soil’s potassium from beneath their roots,
Secrete toxic chemicals from your own that
They will drink, unknowingly.
Thinking that you are a friend.
They will feed it to their children and their children
Will become weak. You will smile as their heads grow limp,
As each generation is born smaller, feebler.
One day, there won’t be any births at all.
And still the passersby will look at you,
And marvel at your pretty golden heads,
So many of them, like cups, reflecting the sunlight
From above, so beautiful, full only of themselves.
The soil beneath now richer than it ever was.